http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml D.L. Sosulski: TheBaseballBabe Tue, 13 Nov 2007 07:48:45 -0600 http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/c05b5aad36bbf7bc476b612a6bf3b085_45a3a052.writeback Tue, 09 Jan 2007 08:01:54 -0600 I'm not sure if it holds for other branches of science, but I love the field of study I work in-- often referred to as systems neuroscience-- because it is one of the few professions outside of professional sports that allows jocks to excel. In fact, I consider myself a jock more than anything else-- to a large degree, I am good at what I do because of God-given physical ability, able to accomplish things in the lab that other people simply cannot, due to the fact that I have better hands, better eyes, and the stamina of a pitcher trying to pull out a no-no late in the ninth. The idea of "scientist-jock" is not an entirely new one; people still refer to molecular biologists who make a career out of cloning things a "gene jock". However, recent technical developments in the field of neuroscience have made physicality an extremely desirable trait to possess. The increasing use of two-photon microscopy, which involves an incredible amount of surgical skill in order to use in live animal preparations, has been one source of this, as is the use of "microdrives" to record neural activity in awake, behaving animals, which demands not only dexterity but keen eyesight, due to the size of the mechanical instruments involved in the work. In addition, people are applying old techniques that themselves took a fair amount of skill to perform well, like whole-cell electrophysiology, in more and more complicated and demanding ways, further increasing the value of an adept set of limbs. Now if only universities hired young professors based on their performance at a combine... http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/e00d56bf92172f2cf4cebca70cfef85c_45a3996e.writeback Tue, 09 Jan 2007 07:32:30 -0600 Here's the title you should have used after Florida beat Ohio State in the BCS title game: "Urban Legend." http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/5dfca02c41de3d9d4442991424d9035b_455fd8d0.writeback Sat, 18 Nov 2006 22:08:48 -0600 Referencing Philip Roth's 1959 National Book Award-winning collection of short stories in the headline for your story on Ohio State's victory over Michigan-- "Goodbye, Columbus...". I'd say somebody's got some poorly paid liberal arts- degree holding interns floating around the Connecticut offices somewhere... http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/7443ede21a38dbf22b400a315a4bc648_455fd499.writeback Sat, 18 Nov 2006 21:50:49 -0600 I never thought I'd see any sports figure out- manboob Phil Mickelson, but Parcells has got to have at least two cup sizes on Lefty. http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/258aed9fba259d1bde4229c758c56d11_4463df31.writeback Thu, 11 May 2006 20:04:49 -0500 While walking to work this morning, I ran into a homeless man waiting to cross the street. I noticed that he was wearing a Los Angeles Clippers hat, and for a split second, I thought about asking him if he'd managed to catch any of the playoff games the Clippers have played this postseason. The hat looked really old, it made me wonder how long he had been waiting for them to finally make the playoffs. http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/8990994ae7adfe2ec5131c395e6a3e15_44590818.writeback Wed, 03 May 2006 14:44:24 -0500 The University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux; The Chicago Blackhawks; The Cincinatti Reds; The Kansas City Chiefs. http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/15bfa5a2103d6685cd6b901691ffe18a_444bc381.writeback Sun, 23 Apr 2006 13:12:17 -0500 Aqua Velva Man; I Before E; No Room At The Inn; Rock Hudson Express; Hotel California; Just Happy to See Me; Bananas For Hire; Famished; Mind The Stepchildren; Paul Is Dead http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/8f6c81b9d8b04bda97da621d01a40b4e_44256505.writeback Sat, 25 Mar 2006 09:43:01 -0600 No. 5-Bobby Flay: Note to Chef Flay-blue corn chips are not a novel thing, and we will not get excited by your use of them in your cooking, even if you break them up and use them to coat a piece of chipotle-rubbed chicken breast. Americans have been able to purchase them in every 7-11 throughout this great country since, like, 1991. Also, I am firmly of the belief that your competitors in every "Iron Chef: America" episode you participate in are paid to lose. And still, your record is like 7-4, which probably wouldn't even get you into the playoffs if you were an NFL team in a reasonably decent division. Also, don't wear tight-fitting polo shirts on that show where you grill chipotle-rubbed blue corn crusted chicken in every episode outside on your deck-they accentuate your massive man ta-ta's. You suck. No. 4-Emeril Lagasse: Really, I hate the audiences at your live show more than I hate you. Unlike Rachael Ray, you are actually a good cook. And you gave a lot of money to help rebuild New Orleans after the Katrina disaster, even though you will probably benefit from this in the long run, since most of the money you gave went to your employees and getting your restaurants rebuilt, but regardless, you should be applauded. But for the love of God, please tell your audiences that they don't have to "oooh" and "ahhh" every time you announce the name of an ingredient you are about to add to a dish. Does anyone really get that excited over chicken stock? My only real bone to pick with you personally is that you may be directly responsible for 15-20% of the 12-18 year olds who are diagnosed with type II (adult onset) diabetes in this country every year. You fry everything-even the GARNISHES of your dishes. Who knew parsley would retain that beautiful green color for a longer amount of time if you threw it in some Panko breadcrumbs and gave it a dip in some 450 degree Crisco? And furthermore, who gives a shit? I can't eat anything you make-and I'm a 24- year old female non-smoker in good health, with no family history of heart disease or hypertension. No. 3-That Woman on the Show Where She Cooks Things Ahead of Time So She Can "Get On With Her Super-Charged, Crazy Life-i.e., Driving Her Kids to Soccer Practice": Storing pre-cooking linguine in a Ziploc bag for three days: bad advice. BTW, cooking linguine takes about 5 minutes. If you need to do that three days in advance because you don't have enough time to do it the on evening you are preparing dinner, you have too many kids. Here's better advice: Try using a diaphragm. 85% effective-increased to 98% if you use a spermicidal lubricant to insert it. No. 2--Mario Batali: No matter how much you charge for an appetizer featuring pancreas, thymus, and pig's feet, I and most of the Western world share the opinion that offal is disgusting. The only sane/not starving people I know who willingly eat animal innards are the Argentineans, who have large parties at which they roast an entire cow and literally devour the entire animal. However, they also consume alcohol for an entire DAY before tucking in. I'd probably eat the gum off of the New York City sidewalk after consuming that much alcohol. Mark my words, you will be the reason Mad Cow jumps species and decimates the human population, if that ever happens. Also, you ruined an otherwise very nice walk I was taking through the West Village after I saw your awesome red Vespa parked outside of Babbo, and failed to get the image of your enormous white ass cheeks spreading over the sides of the originally- designed-for-a-13-year-old-newsboy-from-Florence- sized scooter seat for the rest of my stroll. No. 1--Rachael Ray: You are either the Queen of the Stoners, or the biggest hack in the history of chefs. I once saw you try to pretend that cutting a loaf of stale, week-old Italian bread into cubes, putting it in boiling water, and adding canned tomato sauce was an adequate approximation of gnocci marinara. Even at Girl Scout camp, where we had to cook things on the bottom of an old coffee can that had been turned over and placed on top of the dying embers of our morning campfire, we did better than that. I have been really fucking stoned many, many times, my friend, but even the late Jerry Garcia would have given you the thumbs down on that one, it was so revolting. In addition, you are responsible for the 80-85% of cases of diabetes in children that Emeril has not directly caused, and 100% of adult-onset diabetes. Encouraging people to make a Monte Cristo containing eight layers of meat and cheese at 2 in the morning after you come home from a night of partying? That's smart. Telling people that "even on a low-carb diet, you have to have some carbs, so eat this couscous with lots of sugary dried fruit on top"-incorrect. Also, any dinner ending in some kind of ice cream Sunday is not healthy, no matter how much granola or crushed walnuts you sprinkle on top of the three scoops of Haagen Dazs. You're as bad as the cereal boxes that used to advertise Lucky Charms as "part of a complete breakfast" when I was growing up. At least Paula Dean is honest. I love the South. http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/2452134e6cff8333b816c1f3efdd104e_44162b02.writeback Mon, 13 Mar 2006 20:31:30 -0600 I won't give a shit who wins http://spiketrain.zoomshare.com/1.shtml/c4e58b1beda7921b00b670d95d0c065d_440af37f.writeback Sun, 05 Mar 2006 08:19:43 -0600 Is the dominican republic.